How Russian Are You?

Smile, and say hello.

Nod pleasantly but indifferently.

Look the other way so you don't have to interact.

Glare menacingly. You can never be too careful with strangers

The greatest man of the 20th century, who single-handedly ended the Cold War.

The guy with the spot on his head. Did he come do a talk in my town last year?

He made some mistakes, but the Soviet Collapse was inevitable, and at least he avoided World War III.

There had to have been a better way - he was a mealy-mouthed nonentity, and made things worse.

Ridding the world of pinko scum.

The fight against Naziism. Or was it Communism? Both?

Putting an end to the Holocaust. The Western world had to compromise by working with Stalin, but the ends justified the means.

An complex international cataclysm with its origins all the way back in World War I.

What is an old lady doing taking public transportation?

Maybe I should help her get onto the train - it's crowded here.

I'll stand behind her, because I know she'll clear a path into the train, and I can slip in on her slipstream.

Back off. Her purse is a weapon and she's just waiting to use it.

Oh! I haven't thought about jello since I was a kid.

I prefer it green, with suspended fruit and marshmallows.

Do you know what that stuff is really made out of???

It's the essential ingredient in kholodets.

Argue about whether you did anything wrong.

Get out your license and registration.

Do nothing

Option Fold a 50 ruble note and hold it out the window while you slow down (but don't stop)5

It's ours, give it back.

It's part of the Ukrainian navy.

It's part of the Russian navy.

Is there still such a thing?