What Stand Do You Have? (Jojo's Bizarre Adventure)

Brave.

Caring.

Resourceful.

Determined.

Harmless.

Curious.

Energetic.

Creative.

Focused.

Your own ambition, your goal is to excel to your greatest potential.

Your friends, you would not be where you are today without them.

The goal of living comfortably and to be left to pursue what you love, without being hassled by others.

To truly know others, what makes people tick and understand the human condition in all of its forms.

You are still learning things about yourself, your drive is to understand yourself and where you fit in the world.

Invite the man to settle this in a civilised manner, in the empty parking lot behind the bar. Once you are there, slit his throat with a concealed knife.

Smash the man's head off the bar, knocking him out cold. Then finish your drink. You'll take this one on the house.

Ignore the man, pay for your drink, and leave. If the man follows you outside, and continues to bother you, he will deeply regret it.

Throw your drink in the man's face. While he is briefly stunned, escape.

Offer to buy the man a drink, in an effort to diffuse the situation.

Shatter your glass on the bar, then slash the man's eyes out. While he screams in pain and terror, demand another drink. You leave a generous tip for the bartender.

Beg the man not to hurt you. Tell him you have a heart condition, and if he hits you it could be fatal.

You wonder why a man who saves lives as his day job is so aggressive on his time off. Perhaps he's had a rough week, and it might be better not to take it personally. Ask him what his problem is. It'd be best if you could resolve this peacefully.

Apologise to the man for whatever offence you've caused him. On your way out, take his wallet.

It is towering and powerful, heaving with fury. It will crush you without mercy.

It defies logic. It is a mysterious creature of dizzying complexity that makes your head spin and your thoughts lose focus.

It takes the form of those closest to you, warping their faces and tormenting you with visions of them in pain and sorrow.

It is a ghost, made of mist and air. You try to destroy it, but it fades and reappears when you try, humiliating you with sneering laughter. Even with all the strength in the world, you are powerless.

It is you, when you were at your weakest your most frail. You despise the memory of that person. You wish it would no longer stain who you have become.

Every day of my life is a nightmare.

Help the old lady to her feet. Hopefully she isn't hurt. 

Help the old lady to her feet, flashing her a concerned smile as you lift the necklace from her bag and put it in your pocket.

Ignore the old fool and continue on your way. There's no point in wasting your time dealing with a lowlife like that.

Surveying the old woman makes you feel strange, a mix of pity and disdain. You feel more interested in what drove her to do this. Perhaps her life was cruel and unfair, or perhaps she pushed away all those who tried to help her with her greed and dishonesty. If only you knew more...

Ignore the old lady, take the necklace from her bag and return it to the cashier. Maybe you'll get a reward, or if not, at least you're playing the role of a good citizen.

Kick the old lady in the head.

You feel uncertain. If she's a thief, she could be faking an injury. You'd rather not get involved in all this.

This is a small family business. Even if she's hurt, it doesn't excuse the fact that she committed a crime against the community. Help her to her feet, but prevent her from leaving until you have alerted the cashier to her theft.

A folk song, filled with wise lyrics and strong imagery. The singer's voice is rough, but they are a master storyteller.

Euphoric, wailing guitars, surreal images, distant and dreamlike, but strangely comforting.

A groovy number from the mid-70s. It immediately makes you feel better about the rain outside.

An arena-rock anthem, from the glory days. A ballad played on piano, but with power and pride, that tugs at the heartstrings. You've sung it in the shower countless times.

Nothing. The radio crackles and falls silent. You look out the window, at the rain, at the traffic, barely moving. So still.

An eerie song. The instruments feel detuned, ominous. The lyrics are disjointed and unsettling. It makes you feel a little paranoid, as if someone had just stepped over your grave.

You turn and run. They might be armed, and desperate. Your personal safety is what's most important.

You don't normally think of yourself as a materialistic person, but these imbeciles just crossed a line. The police can take care of them, but you'll teach them a lesson first, no need for a gun.

You let out a strangled cry and charge forward, caving the first thief's skull in with the rifle butt. The second thief panics, sprinting out the front door. You calmly walk to your car, drive after him, and ram into him at full speed, reversing over his lifeless body several times. How dare they ruin your carpet.

You take the gun and order them not to move, waiting for anger washing over you to pass. Undoubtedly they came here to rob you, but breaking the vase was most likely unintentional. It's best to think before you act impulsively. There may still be a way to turn the situation to your advantage.

You fall to your knees and burst into tears, pitifully grabbing handfuls of your mother's ashes, and - with a whimper of despair - curling up into the foetal position on the carpet. The thieves look down at you with a mixture of horror and disgust. 

You take the gun from the wall and shoot the two thieves. For all you know they could have been armed, and were probably planning to commit further robberies.

You take the gun and shoot the thief who broke the vase in the leg, both as payment for his disrespect and to inhibit him from moving. You kick the other thief to the floor and keep them both there until the police arrive.

Pick up the fox. You know you can't bring it to a vet, but you're not about to just leave it lying there. You have to try to help it... You'll think of something,

Snap the fox's neck. Best to end its suffering as quickly as possible.

Best not to touch it. It might have fleas. Wrap your jacket around it, and bring it on to the sidewalk. It's out of harm's way for the moment. You may have to kill it, but at least you can examine its injuries more closely now.

Ignore the fox's feeble cries. Turn up the music on your headphones and keep walking.

Watch the fox's death throes. How hard does it fight? Search its eyes. What do you see there? Pain, fear, or does it wish to defy death? Fear and pain in the face of death are for the weak. Only defiance matters.

Pick up a stick and poke the fox. Watch it wince and twitch. It's nice to feel in charge for a change. People are always so mean to you.

You can see there isn't much hope for the fox. You don't really know what to do, so you stroke its head and hum what you hope is a calming melody, in an effort to make its last moments a little easier.

As you walk past, the fox lifts it's head from the ground shakily, baring its teeth in an eerie smile. "Chaos reigns" it says.

You own up to what happened. The other driver does not deserve to take the fall for what you were ultimately responsible for. If you comply with the authorities honestly, the court will take that into account.

Feign ignorance. If the other driver believes they were responsible, there is no reason for you to suffer the consequences and have this on your criminal record. If they don't even know what just happened, surely that is their fault. Right?

Both of you are equally responsible for the death of the pedestrian. If the other driver is confused about the details of what has transpired, you can take control of the situation as you know all of the information. Calm them down and tell them the story that the police need to hear. The pedestrian caused the accident by running out into the street without giving either driver enough time to react.

You caused the accident because you're pathetic, worthless slime. The police need to take you away and execute you, so you can finally be free and won't ruin others lives.

Kill the other driver, and remove the evidence of everything that has transpired. Whether the result is good or bad for you, there are too many loose ends here. There are things to do and you can't be worrying about this.

No matter what, you and your lover are getting on that lifeboat. If it means you have to tailor a well crafted lie to ensure that both of you are suitable candidates, then so be it. You must survive. The captain and deckhand should stay behind, as it is their duty, and the old man doesn't have much time left anyway. If anyone tries to stop you, then there will be more than enough room for the remaining few.

Ethically the correct answer is that you stay behind with the deckhand and captain. but self preservation is an integral component of the human condition. You spend this crucial moment analysing the character of the remaining people to deduce why any of them should stay on board.

You have already thrown yourself into the icy depths below.

You shape your own destiny, these scenario's are futile. All of these people mean very little in the grand scheme of things and will likely not achieve much with the lives they have been given. You take the life boat by force and you take it alone.

You, the captain and the deckhand will stay behind, allowing the rest to go on the lifeboat while the three of you formulate an alternative plan to escape the ship. They are most familiar with this difficult scenario while you have a knack for figuring out a plan and are a born leader.

Whiskey, neat.

A non-alcoholic beer.

Triple Vodka and Red Bull.

A glass of red wine.

Cheap beer.

Tap water. Or ask the bartender to piss into a glass. That's the best you deserve.

Mojito.

Ask the bartender to serve you whatever they would drink.

Orange Juice.

Nervous.

Irrational.

Short-Tempered.

Paranoid.

Scatterbrained.

Selfish.

Lazy.

Distant.

Jealous.

A tall figure, like a person. It stands at the foot of your bed.

A shape you can't fully determine. It moves quickly around the wall near the window. Is it just one creature... or more?

Is it in the air, or on your skin? There is a presence somewhere in the room, but you can't figure out where.

As your eyes adjust, you realise the room is empty, but outside on the street, you can faintly make out a shape in the glow of the streetlamps. Someone, or something, is watching you.

You see a barren landscape, a ruin devoid of people. Suddenly, flowers begin to grow in the dried fields, rubble begins to join and take form and the sun rises. The longer you focus on the image, people appear, until the scene is bustling with humanity and bursting with life. This image reflects your belief deep down that no matter how much the world erodes, there is always hope for renewal when there are people to fill it.

A blood red sun sets over a large bustling mass of humanity, rushing in and out of a claustrophobic street. All eyes seem to meet you as they pass in and out of view. Their prying eyes seem to hint that they know of you, but that couldn’t be possible, they are total strangers. You feel a hostility from them, even as they leave your view, you can feel that murderous intent. You move upwards over the buildings, the crowds fall out of view and the sun sets.

You see a bright and peaceful lakeside, silent besides the nearby buzzing of wildlife. The sun rises and sets with no interruption. You are the master of this domain, free to do as you please and enjoy the significance of being alone in such a beautiful and peaceful place. No one will interrupt this moment.

You are gazing out from a train in the middle of the night, into a scene of a desert expanse in motion. At first there is little to see, nothing of worth meets your eye but sand and shadows, but as journey continues and the sun rises, the scene begins to grow more and more vibrant. Colourful individuals and vibrant places meet your eye, and the longer you gaze out, the more rich and vibrant the scenery is.

You are high above a tower and a warm twilight breeze hits your face as the sun gives out it’s last breath before dipping below the horizon. The height you are reaching defies even the heavens, no other building as far as the human eye can see can meet this view and you alone are there to witness it. If you adjust your eyes, you can see tiny specs move about the winding lanes, going about their daily lives. They seem so tiny from where you are perched.

A warm sunny day at a seaside resort, people move about the scene going about their business. Now and then, there seems to be some small groups of people causing trouble, but as you focus on them, they begin to fade away. You get the sense that you are in full control of this environment, under your watchful eyes the picture stops from spiraling out of control.

You are gazing out upon a quiet and peaceful suburban town, there is a mail man completing his delivery rounds, a group of school children make their way to school, a business man stops in the street to tie his shoelaces, a crow flies in a downwards arc to snatch a worm from a fine blade of grass. You find that you can see everything all at once, the longer you look at this seemingly mundane picture, the more intriguing the detail. And you learn more the longer you gaze into it.