We currently have five Traffic Goats on staff, any of which would be proud to have you as their protector.
Take this short quiz to see which Traffic Goat might best travel with you--Buffalo Billy, Nanny-Kinz, Uncle Sam, Nanko, or Captain Kidd.
Results are just for fun, and are not tracked or recorded. Feel free to use a creative alias and share or print your results!
(Optimized for Google Chrome, and kind of wonky in Microsoft Edge. . . )
Truck
Sedan
Minivan
Sports Car
Big Rig
Motorcycle
Bicycle
Skateboard
SUV
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I’m a professional
60+ years
40-59 years
20-39 years
6-19 years
1-5 years
I'm just learning
I don’t drive yet
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Bright & Clear
Dark & Windy
Wet & Rainy
Hot & Dry
Cold & Snowy
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Country. Cuz if it ain't country, it ain't music.
Pop. As in popular. Duh.
Rock & Roll. Invented in and for cars.
Hip Hop. Pump up the thump.
Classical. Pardon me, but do you have some Beethoven?
Oldies. Because they're all goodies.
Gospel. Clap your hands!
Jazz. You wouldn't understand.
Other (I can't believe you left my music off this list!)
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...panic and curl up in the fetal position. Is there anything worse in the world? I'm fired.
...panic, but then remember to call Triple-A. And I'm an hour and 20 minutes late for work.
...fumble around for about 43 minutes but finally get it changed. Only 33 minutes late for work.
...know what to do and get done in 20 minutes. Only five minutes late for work. Nobody even noticed.
...live for this. Time me, Ralphie! And still three minutes to spare. Hah!
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The USA, baby!
Japan. I’ve upped my standards, so up yours. Arigato, konichiwa.
France, you fool!
Italy. Go for a ride?
England, Her Majesty’s model, of course.
Germany. Ah, the autobahn!
Yugoslavia, remember the Yugo?
Other (Like Cuba, Soviet Union, North Korea, and other fine automakers.)
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Applying makeup. What? It's not okay to fard in the car?
Eating with one hand, driving with the other. Come on, it's just a cheeseburger with fries, a drink, and a turnover. Lighten up!
Smoking with one hand, driving with the other. Smoking actually relaxes me in tense traffic. My reaction time is only increased by a couple seconds.
Texting with both hands. And so yeah, I guess I'm driving with blatant disregard for my safety and the safety of everyone else. :(
I dunno. Just...driving, I guess.
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Racing Red
Ocean Blue
Slime Green
Quick Silver
Grandma Gold
Generic White
Screaming Orange
Midnight Black
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Reddish (Not radish. Radish Red?)
Bluish (One fish, two fish, red fish, bluish...)
Greenish (How the Greenish stole Christmas?)
White (Really just an intense mixture of red, green, and blue)
Black (The absence of all colors, so they say...)
Yellowish (Can you think of anything pleasant that is yellowish?)
Sorry, it's too dirty to know for sure.
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